Lane Kiffin is Kathy Bates for Blake Sims

If you don't get the analogy, watch or read 'The Blind Side.'

If you don’t get the analogy, watch or read ‘The Blind Side.’

Three observations from yesterday’s games:

1. LANE KIFFIN IS BLAKE SIMS’S KATHY BATES

This is the story of how Lane Kiffin on the sidelines transformed Blake Sims into an elite level QB.

As a personal blogger, I can get away with speculating on things that a credible reporter can’t without citing first-hand sources.  This disclaimer doesn’t mean what I write isn’t true–it just means I can’t prove it. With that in mind, Tide Fans, prepare yourself for an ‘aha’ moment that will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy.

For years, much of the Tide’s coaching staff believed Blake Sims to be illiterate. (Insert snarky thought here about how much college football cares about academics.) Frankly, Coker was brought in to be the starting QB because it was commonly accepted that Blake Sims was a great athlete, but too limited mentally to be the QB they wanted him to be. Mainstream media has been dancing around this subject because Sims is black. They are right to be cautious, because not long ago labeling a player a ‘running QB’ would automatically come with allegations of racism. But, as a blogger I can say what they can’t: Tide coaches didn’t have faith in Blake because they thought he was too dumb.

Enter Lane Kiffin.

As hard as this might be for Tennessee fans to imagine, Coach Kiffin actually listened to the guy, and figured out that Blake responds better to hand signals from the sideline than reading off an arm band. Wala! Blake suddenly transforms to the QB that the Tide always hoped he would be.

Could Blake be dyslexic? It would explain much. 1 in 5 people have dyslexia, yet it frequently goes undiagnosed. People assume that the person is dumb or lazy. But, as Tim Tebow, Steve Jobs, and countless others could tell you, being dyslexic is no indication of intelligence. In fact, dyslexics are frequently brilliant, and excel with out-of-the-box problem solving. In fact, Blake Sims might be so good at out-of-the-box problem solving that he’s been able to adapt and cope with dyslexia under the radar.

If my theory is true, then what would this say about the University of Alabama? The guy’s been at the prestigious institution of high learning for years, under the close supervision of one of the largest and highest paid coaching staffs in the history of football, and yet nobody thought he might have dyslexia? (Again, 1 in 5 people have it!) Can you say dropped ball?

What does this say about Lane Kiffin? What are good coaches, if not educators? It appears Lane Kiffin did what his predecessors couldn’t. The pouty-lipped sumbitch has gotten on my nerves in the past, but I can’t help but respect the guy now.

What a wonderful feel good story this is. Well, it is feel good for all except for Coker. Coker would have played at Florida State last night had he stayed there. So all this has pretty much bitten him the ass. But he might get his day before the season is over.

Again, this is all speculation, so I invite a bonafide journalist to take this ball and run with it. Or, even better, send me a check and I’ll write it for you.

So, Tide Fans, now you know why Lane Kiffin is on the sidelines, and why Blake Sims suddenly transformed into an elite-level QB.

Roll Tide!

2. FLORIDA WILL WIN THE EAST

I have to give a shout out to ESPN’s Heather Dinich ( @CFBHeather ). Her bold predictions about the Gators@Bama and Clemson@Florida State games were more accurate than any of her ‘expert’ male colleagues. I’ll be paying closer attention to her. If she keeps this up she’ll become the college football analysis maven.

The Gators are not as bad as the Kentucky and Bama games make them look. Missouri lost to Indiana, the Gamecocks struggled with lowly Vandy, and something is going on with Gurley in Georgia. I predict Florida will win the SEC East.

Regardless of who wins the SEC East, don’t assume they are going to get pummeled in the SEC Championship. Top to bottom, the SEC West is the strongest football division that has ever existed. We are watching history this year. The winner of the West will do it by tiebreaker, and they will be banged up with injuries heading into the SEC Championship. So the SEC East could end up as conference champion, even though they are from the much weaker division.

3. JAMEIS WINSTON’S LEADERSHIP

Lastly, ABC’s coverage of Jameis Winston’s ‘leadership’ on the sideline made me want to puke. Please tell me Maguire wanted that punk out of his face. Jameis is too big for his britches and, like Terrell Owens, he will be toxic for his team. As we’ve seen in the NFL, some guys are great football players, and that is all they are. We invite disaster when we try to make every star athlete into off the field heroes too. Florida State has invited disaster. They will get no sympathy from me when they get what they asked for and it blows up in their face.

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